Greetings

Happy New Year! Hello everyone, welcome to our January newsletter! As always, we provide an overview of what is happening within our childcare community. This month we will focus on parenting styles and how it affects a child’s development.

Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist from the University of Berkeley, first coined the 3 parenting styles in 1966 namely authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive parenting styles. Later, in the 1980s, Maccoby and Martin introduced a fourth parenting style: the uninvolved. 

Today, these 4 types of parenting styles have produced other subtypes that may reflect the same amount of warmth, acceptance, and demands in different ways. Here are 10 parenting styles.

1. Tiger parenting style

Hailing from Chinese (or East Asian) parents’ authoritarian and controlling parenting style, tiger parents place special emphasis on their children achieving success not only in academics but also in life. The push for success begins by demanding academic excellence and high marks in school while removing any distractions such as playdates, socialization with peers, or even hobbies. Children are expected to obey and follow their parents’ decision for them without any question. 

Tiger parenting can definitely lead to a child’s success in adult life. However, their sense of satisfaction may not necessarily stem from their academic or career achievements. Instead, it may come from seeing their parents' approval of what they have accomplished so far.

2. Authoritarian parenting style

Also known as strict parenting, an authoritarian parent demands obedience from their children. In this parenting style, parents are the authority figures. They set the rules, boundaries, and punishments while children are expected to obey without question.

Children must follow the rules set forth by their parents else they may suffer the consequences of their actions. In this parenting style, children may also be given responsibilities to cultivate discipline. While authoritarian parents demand obedience, they do not necessarily ask for extreme academic achievements like tiger parents do.

When a child misbehaves or ignores the rules, an authoritarian parent will immediately correct the child through adequate discipline or punishment. The child is also not allowed to explain their side. 

Authoritarian parenting means communication is a one-way street wherein the child must only listen and obey their parents’ demands. They are to be seen but not heard. In order to learn, they must learn to obey first.

Children of authoritarian parents are trained to be highly compliant and disciplined. They understand their actions have consequences. However, they may be more familiar with negative ones rather than positive ones. 

As authoritarian parents rarely attend to their children’s emotional needs, these children may fall far behind their peers in terms of social and emotional development. These children can grow up to be either more aggressive and hostile or shy and fearful of their peers.

3. Disciplined parenting style

The parents with a disciplined parenting style are all about using rules and guidelines to make their children behave in the right way. There is an established way of doing things and routines to follow. They give them household chores and tasks that are expected to be done according to a schedule and standard. There may be less freedom and free time for the children to do what they want.

Another key characteristic of a disciplinarian parent is letting their children know about consequences of their actions when they misbehave or don’t follow the rules. The methods used to discipline children may range from physical such as spanking, behavioural such as washing their mouth with soap, or imposing tasks or sanctions such as writing lines or removing playing privileges. 

Parents of this style believe they are raising their children ready for the world and their adult lives and that inculcating discipline at an early age helps the child grow up possessing the right values and principles. 

Parents with a disciplined parenting style may share some similarities with authoritarian parents, however, disciplinarians respond more to their child’s emotional needs although rules and punishments cannot be negotiated. They also will communicate more frequently with their children rather than simply telling them what to do.

4. Helicopter parenting style

Known for constant hovering and hounding, a helicopter parent only wants to protect their child with the best of intentions. A helicopter parent is sensitive to the dangers that lurk outside and only wants to keep their child safe at all costs--most often at the cost of the child’s privacy and independence. They monitor their children constantly and give them guidance, more than what children need most of the time, on how to proceed with their life.

Helicopter parents may tell the child how to play, which toy to play with, who to become friends with, what to do next, or even coach or help them when it comes to tasks and projects that need to be done independently. When a problem arises, helicopter parents may also act quickly on solving it for their child instead of letting the child figure out the solutions on their own, with the intention of clearing any obstacle. 

While well-intentioned, helicopter parents are doing a disservice to their children by removing any obstacle and dictating how a child should interact with his/her environment. Children of helicopter parents also grow up to have poorer social and emotional regulation. Another result of this parenting style is a higher tendency for the child to seek extrinsic rewards.

5. Routine parenting style

For routine parents, everything has to be structured around a schedule. There is a set time for waking up and going to bed. Meals are scheduled, and so are the various activities for children. Consistency is the key when it comes to this parenting style. 

A routine parenting style is great in instilling good habits such as developing proper hygiene, and accomplishing tasks and chores. A child will also have a sense of security and control over his environment and daily life when they already know what is expected of them. This results in great satisfaction, a sense of accomplishment, and pride in their achievements.

However, there is less autonomy in this parenting style. While routine certainly helps a child in knowing what and when to do certain things in the day, having a set schedule removes any chance for decision making on his own. 

Since routine parenting expects the child to adhere to a certain schedule, it may result in a child’s less openness to new experiences. The child may also be far too dependent on a schedule that when it’s disrupted, it may give the child some discomfort.

6. French parenting style

Similar to the routine parenting style, a French parenting style places emphasis on having routines to train their babies and children on a schedule without explicitly enforcing it. Parents are responsible for setting the boundaries and expectations their children are expected to follow. 

A clear example of this is through sleep-training babies. Upon hearing a baby’s cries in the night,  French parents pause for a while to wait and see whether the baby will stop on its own. If and when the baby stops crying on its own, the baby is more likely to sleep through the night. This adds to both the baby and parents’ sleep quality.

Having scheduled meals is another example of French parenting that proves effective on a child’s diet. French children rarely eat outside of eating hours corresponding to their breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner. This ensures that the child sits to a meal hungry and ready to eat, making them less fussy eaters.

While children raised in a French parenting style may strike some as being precocious and better behaved, the children may be inclined to hold themselves back and indulge in childish curiosities suited to their age. Children may be forced to conform to norms that aren’t typically applied to children, hence they tend to “grow up” faster than their peers.

7. Attachment parenting style

An attachment-based parenting style focuses on the connection between parents and their children. Under the permissive parenting style, parents may be reluctant to set firm boundaries and are more open to negotiations. Attachment-based parents place more importance on a child’s enjoyment and being in tune with and immediately responding to their needs and feelings. They place importance on cultivating an emotional relationship with their child.

An attachment parenting style also focuses on dealing with the children’s emotions first before correcting the behaviour. However, this may lead to very exhausting parenting wherein mood regulation becomes the routine. 

For example, parents with attachment style will always respond to a baby’s cry as opposed to a parent with a French parenting style where they wait before reacting to the baby’s cry. Another difference is that parents under this parenting style prefer feeding based on when a child is hungry or asks for food instead of having a regular schedule. 

However, do not confuse attachment parenting style with secure attachment. While parents do strive to be more responsive and know their child’s emotional needs, a child who grew up under attachment parenting will not necessarily develop a secure form of attachment when it comes to his or her other relationships in life. 

Researchers have found out that an overly attached parent may also make the child grow into an anxiously attached child wherein a parent’s absence is strongly felt and grow up to be more dependent later in life.

8. Homeschool parenting style

Venturing out of the traditional school system, homeschool parenting means that children are educated outside of traditional schools. The children’s main friends and sources for socialisation come from immediate family members. 

Children who are homeschooled have more time to devote to pursuing their interests outside of the academic curriculum along with household chores their parents may assign to them. 

Sometimes, parents choose to homeschool their children when they believe the traditional school setting and curricula have less to offer or aren't suitable for their children’s learning needs and abilities. 

In homeschooling, children don't also have to follow a set academic schedule and can begin their studies on topics that may be deemed higher than their grade level if they were in a traditional school.

9. Nature parenting style

Choosing to parent using a nature or natural parenting style actually begins earlier for mothers. A natural parenting style dictates shunning away from artificial or man-made medical procedures such as getting an epidural at birth, or giving birth at a hospital. Some even extreme natural parenting advocates recommend mothers eat the placenta to lessen the chances of getting postpartum depression. Natural parenting style also recommends breastfeeding and co-sleeping with the baby and breastfeeding until the child weans off on his/her own. 

Other parents choosing this parenting style have also chosen to use eco-friendly products like cloth diapers, have an organic food diet,  and spend more time outdoors in nature. 

When it comes to education, natural parents prefer homeschooling rather than enrolling their children in traditional schools.

While natural parenting seems to rely on pure instincts alone and follows the babies’ inborn instincts, critics say it may hamper a child’s development when a parent fails to provide adequate challenges. 

When a child is not presented with enough challenges, this may influence their level of aspirations later in life and avoid difficult tasks. They may also have a weak commitment to goals, with lower levels of motivation.

10. Free range parenting style

At the other end of the parenting style spectrum lies the free range. A free range parenting style might just be any child’s dream come true. Those who follow the free range parenting style swear by the motto, “let kids be kids!”

Parents using a free range parenting style believe that kids have an intrinsic motivation to learn about their surroundings. Free range parents also encourage their children to explore their outdoors independently and with less adult supervision.

For example, parents under this style will let their children use public transportation to go to and from school or going to a store nearby unaccompanied by an adult. This encourages the children to be independent, resourceful and creative.   

Children of a free range parenting style are also allowed to fail and make mistakes on their own without being punished. Instead they are encouraged to try again. 

However, free range parenting does not mean it does not have rules kids have to abide by. It only means that parents trust their own instinct when it comes to allowing children to be on their own. This allows children to explore their limits, build their confidence and gain competence without putting too much pressure on achieving success. 

The Takeaway

While it is hard to make a direct correlation between parenting styles and a child’s outcome, a parenting style does make a big impact on a child’s development. Other factors to consider include contextual ones such as socio-economic background, social support and individual factors like a child’s personality, gender, and health. 

One must also remember parenting styles are also largely influenced by the culture it is practiced in. And in the case of Australian parents, research shows that most Australian parents favour the authoritative parenting style. This parenting style consists of being ‘warm and responsive, with clear rules and high expectations.’ 

Parenting styles do not only apply to parents but to the main caregivers as well. Know what type of parenting style you have by accomplishing this survey by SchoolTV.

Resources

https://schooltv.me/wellbeing_news/special-report-parenting-styles

https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/style/parenting-styles-explained/

https://www.kidspot.com.au/parenting/authoritative-parenting-style-most-popular-with-australians/news-story/cceb48f01b6ccc730a2e0ca0945a1f69

https://9now.nine.com.au/parental-guidance/2021-parenting-styles-guide-explainer/ec02db71-a8e3-4e28-9268-235e9c74035a

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